Everybody's got their sh*t

No....not me, digital model

It has become apparent in these “Covid” times that people are under great stress.  Now, I certainly do not wish to diminish or make light of the current world situation.  But I do have to point out some incongruities (hey…  somebody’s got to do it).  As I like to point out, everybody’s got their sh*t (I even had a tee shirt made).  But it’s times like these where it really starts to show.

These times can bring out the best or worst in people.  I’ve discovered both.  The current crisis has provided us with numerous opportunities to view other people’s stuff online.  I’m talking about well-meaning people who have decided that publishing their latest crazy video on YouTube, Instagram or Facebook is the way to go for all to see; sometimes well-received but sometimes ill-advised.  It is clear to me that people have waaaayyyy too much time on their hands.  Now, I understand, we are prisoners of our homes and really can’t get out much.  And once cabin fever sets in all bets are off.  With screaming kids, home schooling, disinfecting everything that moves and a partner you’re living with (that person your mother warned you about) who has turned out not to be the same person you first met or married.  This can be seen in a very humorous but poignant YouTube video “Woman in the Closet”. 

I’ve seen it in action.  I’ve attended a grocery store not too long ago where anxieties were high and there was the smell of paper products in the air.  We had all dutifully lined up for senior shopping time and when the doors opened (this was before strict separation was in place) a flurry of humanity, I would like to say trotted, but actually ran, toward the paper products aisle.  I was not in need of paper products but I tagged along to watch the insanity.  There I watched grown people zigging and zagging their way like wide receivers on the football field to get to their precious paper product. What’s up with that anyway; did people really think we would never see toilet paper again? Most took it in stride but there was at least one person who “lost their sh*t.” Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and a very nice store worker reached back into their cart and personally handed them their precious toilet paper.  Crisis averted.  It’s kind of like survival of the fittest yet more like a civilized “Lord of the Flies” scenario.

I will confess I have cheated death on several occasions during my state’s “lock down” orders.  Thus far, I have made flights to California and driven to other than retail stores.  During those forays I have seen people in various states of compliance from wearing masks, not wearing masks, wearing gloves, not wearing gloves and even the occasional grocery bag over their heads (true story).  I have enjoyed hearing experts tell all that wearing masks was first not necessary, then recommended and then mandatory, while not telling us where we could access or purchase said masks.  Once this was recognized, it was suggested that everything from pillowcases to bandannas were authorized.  Once government gets going, it’s hard to stop making rules that suit their agendas. Diane and I did our civic duty and volunteered at  The Rock Church in San Diego (three hours, I have the finger blister to prove it) to help assemble N95 style masks for the County of San Diego’s Office of Emergency Services. We dutifully tied rubber bands together to be attached to the blank face masks.  Very rewarding stuff.

Don’t get me started on all the stimulus talk. I need to point out that the once derided monthly check put forth by Presidential candidate, Californian Andrew Yang, was one of the first suggestions for the stimulus.  The stimulus ended up to be a nonstarter not to mention the poorly implemented small business stimulus.  Let’s face it: it’s an election year and people in power love to give free money to enhance their positions in an election year.

Old stuff

Shiny new stuff

On a personal note, I do need to point out one other thing.  In my travels to California, I’ve been tasked to fix items to repair my lovely fiancées’ condo so she can lease and/or sell it in the State of Taxation (California) she lives in.  I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that whenever you take apart anyone’s plumbing it never stays simple.  As soon as you turn the first wrench, there is a cascading effect (sometimes water) that occurs where you end up replacing everything to make it work.  What started out as a simple change of bathroom faucets, turned into a battle of wits with aging copper parts.  After an entire afternoon of jousting, I came out victorious with no leaks the first time.  Amazing....sorry, I digress.

Now, I’m not much of a sports guy but I recognize the importance of sports in today’s society.  You can tell that importance when you tune in to ESPN and wonder how entertaining it is to watch Super Bowl 2009 in its entirety like you already didn’t know the outcome.  Let’s not forget all of the outdoor activities that have been put on hold.  Outdoor concerts, parades, chili cook offs and even evening strolls along our beaches have been taken from us.  This has provided many of us with a “bunker mentality” that has driven most of us to relieve ourselves of this “stay at home” situation.  And thus, we are now seeing people protesting (clearly violating physical distancing mandates and frankly scaring the hell out of government officials) and asking to open up their states to get back to “normal” or perhaps the “New Normal” that will be our future.

The other thing is the change we are seeing in the marketplace.  Since this thing got started, it’s become the business owner’s mission to up their game and comfort us with the knowledge that they are sanitizing everything for our safety.  I mean, I’m watching a commercial for a plumber where he is spraying down and sanitizing his entire truck.  How is sanitizing his truck going to make my life better?  Another thing we’ve seen is a newfound embrace of technology (that’s been around for years) providing contact-less consultations, meetings, home visits and purchasing apps never before seen. (Where were you guys before this?) The same has happened in schools, grocery stores and (for goodness sake) hospitals and medical centers. It seems everyone on the planet has suddenly discovered soap and water as an avenue to good health.  Who knew?

Daily, we hear about things and activities that are being taken from us.  It seems like a never-ending list of disappointments.  Some not so disappointing like when I heard today that, due to commercial pressures, Chip and Joanna Gaines were having to delay their latest addition to their Magnolia Empire, the “Magnolia Network” they were about to start.  Oh no, what will we do without more Chip and Joanna? AND the Scripps National Spelling Bee. There is no justice! I mean, we already have the plague, now I’m looking out the window looking for the locusts. How will we manage?

Fox 4s Evan Andrews and dog Penny

I wanted to point out another thing about all of these “at home” celebrities, newscasters and others.  It gives one a unique opportunity to see into the lives of the people you may see every day looking all official and dressed to the nines.  I challenge you, the next time you watch your favorite newscasters or celebrities, look beyond the made-up faces to what’s going on behind them.  Check their bookcases and collections of art, photographs and most of all their pets.  That vaunted newscaster and their “fair and balanced” style is shattered when you realize that they are secretly that scary “cat woman” everybody makes fun of on YouTube.  And let’s not forget the “One World: Together at Home” concert.  I did enjoy the music and saw many famous acts but Charlie Puth needs to make his bed and put his clothes away before going on worldwide television.  Seriously, his mom must be beside herself when she saw that.

Charlies bedroom studio

The Cruise that Never Was

MS Oosterdam

This blog was supposed to be about my wonderful Mexican Riviera Cruise. I had booked the trip months ago to get my long time friend (and now fiancee...more on that later) Diane her first cruise experience. I had booked a fantastic rate for a balcony room on the Oosterdam with Holland America. Diane lives in San Diego where we were to debark from so I thought it would be an easy trip for both of us.

Then Corona Virus struck. The cruise ship Diamond Princess was held in Japan, people were sick and dying and it seemed like the Apocalypse was upon us. In the weeks before the cruise, we were inundated with doom and gloom newscasters telling us we were all going to die and the end of mankind was just around the corner. Diane and I were being asked daily by friends and family if we were still committed to the cruise after all the cruise ships seemed to be quarantined or often not allowed to port for stops or even just returning to home ports. There came a string of missives from the cruise line stating our safety was paramount and they promised us a great adventure AND an added cabin credit of $200 to keep us from canceling. Awesome! Cabin Credits, right cruisers?

Mostly due to my former occupation and the experience that came with that, I've never considered myself an alarmist and I wasn't about to start now. Ok, some would suggest that when all others are losing their sh*t around you...it may be time to re-evaluate your position (sorry Mr. Kipling). My experience dictates one constant, people are well meaning but they're going to screw up. They can't help themselves. I just need to point to the massive hoarding that took place after the first announcements of staying home and riding out the storm. There was never a hint of a food shortage or a complete halt to the production and distribution of toilet paper or paper towels (I'm still mystified at THAT nonsense). I believe people have been binge watching Zombie movies like "Walking Dead" for too long. I know this because, in my state, Texas, gun and ammunition sales went up 100% in the week we went into stay-at-home was enacted.

So Friday night before departure, I'm literally zipping up my bag for the trip to the airport in the morning when I get an email from Holland America saying the cruise was canceled and we were entitled to a refund or future cruise credit. I get the cruise line was acting prudently and clearly afraid of future fallout lawsuits from sick passengers or quarantining people on their ships. All bad press for the publicity department.

Ok...I still have lemons (a really low fare round trip to San Diego) and can make lemonade. I can still go to San Diego and visit Diane and friends. This will NOT hamper my vacation. It's San Diego in the Spring for goodness sake. How bad can it be? How wrong I could be.

I could see the handwriting on the wall when I got to Love Field. Love is the headquarters for Southwest Airlines and is usually a bevy of activity. Security has like 20 lanes and usually there are lines even at O-dark thirty as I was. Nope, I literally walked right up to the TSA guy, handed my phone and ID to him and waltzed through X-Ray and retrieved my carry-on in about five minutes. The hold-up was I had neglected to remove a juice box for my grandson I keep for our outings. They were treating it like a plastic explosive. I saw it as the TSA tech walked up with it and I pulled it out, unannounced, and caused a stir, but I apologized for my cavalier attitude and they sent me packing.

One of 30 people on my flight

Anyone familiar with the Southwest boarding policy knows we had to lineup so the Agent could get us aboard in an organized fashion. I had checked in 24 hours before and got an A-59 assignment....Ok, I have NEVER gotten an "A" assignment before. I was doing air high-fives the day before. I get in my spot and can't help notice the few passengers lined up. The Agent then calls, "Let me have A 1 thru 30 for boarding." Nobody moved. A 1-30 was sans passengers. The Agent realized this and then said (to my dismay), "Well......let me have A,B and C passengers for boarding." I was one of 30 people on a stretch 737-800. There was no pushing or shoving or waits while people put their bags into the overhead. Victory was ripped from my hands. I was robbed.

The trip to San Diego was quick and quiet...not a word was spoken among the vastly scattered passengers and the crew was equally quiet and unseen. After the safety briefing, they only appeared to distribute drinks and some snacks. They kept the night-lighting on and you caught an occasional ghost-like flight attendant wander up and down the aisle to collect trash as we entered final approach.

Now California had not locked down yet so Diane picked me up and took me to Old Town Mexican Cafe for my favorite breakfast. We drank lots of coffee and had our fill of their handmade tortillas (best on the planet). You know, the kind you just want to curl up with a tub of butter and try to catch the melted goodness running down your wrists as you eat.

Diane lives in Chula Vista, California and we needed to pick up some stuff for her condo so I had my first real experience with crazy grocery stores. We got to the Walmart and the shelves were bare. I'm not talking just paper products, entire aisles of bread, pasta, eggs, dairy were gone. Let's not even mention the lack of sanitizing and cleaning products. We saw people walking out with pallets of water. It was like those disaster movies.

So the first night I had Diane ask her sister Carol and Brother-in-law John to join us for dinner. They picked the  Dolci Cafe Italiano  in Rancho San Diego. There we had a wonderful dinner. I had the Lasagne Bolognese, Diane had the Pollo Parmigiana. The Lasagna was interesting in that it wasn't the traditional wide pasta in cake form but a  Pappardelle style wide Fettuccine pasta...really done well. During the evenings discussion was Diane's future plans to Texas. Diane recently retired and wanted to taste the wide open spaces and State tax-freedom of my adopted state.

We have been friends for about 20 years and had been long-distance dating for about a year and I had decided to propose to her (with witnesses) on the cruise we were supposed to be on that week. I had the presence of mind to bring the ring with me that night expecting to propose over dessert. So the conversation moved on to when we were getting married. Diane's response was something like,"Well, I don't know, he (that would be ME) hasn't proposed yet."

Ok...let me digress, in the past couple of months I was getting photo texts of pictures of rings and subtle hints as to where I could locate similar rings for sale. Let me point out the descriptions of her wish list were for "big ass" rings. The photos were evidence of a need for something significant to wrap around her diminutive (size 6) finger. I dutifully located and purchased said rings. I then had a family member do a cursory temperature check of the family's response to a proposal. I got the go-ahead and had planned on a proposal at the first Formal Night on-board so we could get photo evidence for future generations. Those plans were dashed when Covid-19 showed up.

So there we were at dinner when her remark about proposing hit home. Not waiting for dessert....I kicked my chair out from underneath me and got down on one knee (which is a significant undertaking at my youthful 65) and pulled the BA ring out of my pocket and proposed. Well, a very pregnant pause took place and my future bride and sister got vapor lock as I awaited her response. Thankfully, future BIL John had the presence of mind to take some phone photos of the moment as I had to prod dear Diane to come up with a verbal response, "Ahhhh...you're supposed to say something." Thankfully she said yes and it was hugs and applause all around the restaurant.

I should point out, our female server quickly made her way to the table as she was informed by the kitchen staff I had proposed and she was a little miffed she had missed the event. As a sign of her congratulations, she offered us a free dessert which we gladly accepted  and shared a Chocolate Hazelnut Ganache...Wow. And, right on queue, two days later California closed restaurants except to drive-up and pick up only.

So for the next week, as the stay-at-home order took hold, we did a lot of book reading, movie watching, dog walking and home cooking with an occasional meal delivery (Door Dash) of Olive Garden delights (they didn't include bread sticks...Bastards!). Luckily, we had brave friends and relatives who took us into their homes under the cover of darkness, for dinners (thanks Carol and John as well as Frank and Michele).

The week went relatively fast and I found myself back at the Lindberg Field Terminal saying goodbye to my newly ringed fiancee' (I was reminded its Fianee' feminine and Fiance' for the male).

I saw a familiar check-in the day before my departure when I checked in late and STILL got an "A" assignment. When I got to the airport the next day, again, I was the only person walking through security at 4 pm on a Monday, usually a busy time for Lindberg Field. I stood at the entry point and couldn't see a way through the chicane of barriers. Waayyyyy back by the X-Ray machine a TSA guy called to me, "Sir...just come straight back", and waved me toward him. Again, I was the only person going through and took me maybe three minutes to get to the redressing area. Up to the gates and was presented with an empty terminal. There were more Gate Agents than passengers. I got a snack and sat at my gate. When it was time to go, we all were called up to the Gate and just walked our way to the plane. There were 10 of us going to Dallas and three were Southwest employees deadheading back to Dallas.

Wait...I saw this on "Airplane"

Back at Dallas, I made my way through a completely empty Terminal. The only place open was a Dunkin' Donut shop at the top of the stairs to exit. I was hungry and got my plain Old Fashion and a cup of their coffee. I quickly got my bag from the turnstile and out to my pickup in record time.

Maple & Motor

As it goes with family, there are times when you have to step outside the box and help out. My son, William, had moved from my house in Aubrey, Texas to his own digs in a pretty nice apartment complex in South Dallas.....literally a stones throw away from Dallas Love Field  (the sacred home field of Southwest Airlines). I'm saying he's actually on final approach to Runway 35.

Anyway, we went to our local big box furniture store, Nebraska Furniture Mart in The Colony, Texas and picked out a nice three piece sofa set. You must understand that my son is about 6' 6" and needs a lot of space to stretch out on so some puny 6 foot couch wasn't going to hack it, no...we got the extra long model.

So we got to the pick up area and a couple of able-bodied Nebraska workers loaded all three pieces into the back of my Tacoma pickup (quite an accomplishment, I thought). They roped that thing down like a calf at the rodeo (it is Texas after all) and off we went back to Dallas.

It was a second floor carry for you professional furniture movers. Although the first two pieces were easy, the long couch was a bit more trouble making the turns on the back stairs (we tried the elevator but apparently a six foot couch would have made it inside but no....we had the supersized couch, no-go).

After bumping and scraping our way up to his apartment, we were able to assemble it and even distributed the included throw pillows.


Ok, fun stuff over (you may all know I'm waaaaay passed my prime on furniture moving), my son recommended we go to a hamburger place just down the street called Maple & Motor.

Guys autograph

The owner, Jack Perkins, joined the Dallas dining scene in the fall of 2009 when he and partner Austen Wright opened Maple & Motor Burgers and Beer on Maple Avenue. The story goes that the major cross street by the restaurant used to be called Motor Street but as a plethora of Medical Centers took over the area, they changed the name to Medical District Drive in 2008, Thus the name for the restaurant. Its kind of a hole-in-the-wall place but has a huge following on Yelp. One of the things that attracted me was that, Guy Fieri had done one of his "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" segments there. I ordered a standard Cheeseburger and my son had the same but added a sunnyside up egg and bacon. We shared an order of Tater-Tots.


The burgers were huge with ample portions of beef, onion, tomato and lettuce. I had to cut mine in half so I wouldn't send the contents cascading onto the plate.

The Tots were nicely baked so they weren't greasy, nor was the burger patty. Ordering was quick at the counter and everything was delivered quickly. Drinks were from the dispenser with free refills. Parking wasn't a problem but William said there were days he'd come for lunch and there was a line out the door. Apparently one of the go-to places in that part of the world.

The meal was filling and we got out of there for what I thought was a reasonable $14 a person. If you're ever in South Dallas, have a layover, long stop-over, or need a meal before climbing onto a jet for home, make sure you Uber over to Maple & Motor Burgers and Beer.

Letters to Mamie

I don’t normally write reviews of books but I was in bucolic Waxahachie, Texas (Crepe Myrtle Capital of the world…or so the sign says) cruising the antique and curio shops (yes…I really have taken up the practice) in search of the unusual when I came upon the book which caught my eye.

Now, these little Courthouse Square shops often have lots of classic Americana, ancient medicine bottles, real wooden secretary desks and a plethora of dishes, jewelry and family heirlooms from bygone eras as well as an amazing number of funny T shirts (Diane), hanging signs and coffee cups on subjects which would (possibly) make your Mother cringe as she pulled out the bar of soap.

As an amateur historian of little stature, my eye was immediately drawn to the title, “Letters to Mamie” by Dwight D. Eisenhower. Compiled by their son John S.D. Eisenhower, they are an interesting window into the Eisenhower story during World War II. Mamie apparently kept all 319 letters the General and future President wrote during those harrowing days up to the first Allied invasion of Africa in November of 1942, the Invasion of Italy up to and soon after D-Day until the end of the war. Alas, the future President did not keep any of her letters.

The letters were kept in a box in the Eisenhower home until Mamie offered them to John in 1972 after the Generals passing in 1969. John reviewed all of the letters (all handwritten by a man who normally dictated all his correspondence) and then set them aside. John had himself graduated from West Point on D-Day and spent some time attached to his fathers command during the war. John is an accomplished writer himself, having written one of the defining historical accounts of the Battle of the Bulge, “The Bitter Woods”.

Finally, in 1976, he began editing the letters for publication. It should be noted that these letters were never included in the Eisenhower papers ensconced in the Eisenhower Presidential Library so they are a unique outside perspective into the inner thoughts of Eisenhower during those troubling times. The book was published in 1978 a year before Mrs. Eisenhower’s passing in 1979.

John describes his fathers mood as “pensive” on his last visit home after being told by President Roosevelt he had been chosen to lead the American effort in Europe to plan, stage and execute the invasion of Africa and the ultimate liberation of Europe. Realizing, though a graduate of West Point class of 1915, Eisenhower missed WWI and had yet to prove himself in the field. Noted for his formidable skill set as a planner and organizer, he was still a Lt. Colonel when suddenly promoted by Roosevelt to Major General (unheard of at the time) to begin operations for the invasion of Europe. He was thus thrust into the world of proven military leaders like Churchill and Field Marshal Montgomery. Hey…congratulations on your promotion above more experienced officers and if you find the time, liberate Europe and defeat Hitler. Tough gig I’d say.

These letters not only show his affection for “Mrs. Ike” as he often referred to his wife, but some of the frustrations he was experiencing in his new role, the politics of disparate national leaders like DeGaulle and Stalin as well as his own Government and military like Patton. At the same time rigidly censoring his letters but often closing his letters with an oft-repeated plea that she not “forget” him.

Mamie and Ike

Eisenhower has a real connection to North Texas, where I live. He was born on October 14^th, 1890 in  Denison, Texas and his boyhood home is a State Park in Denison today. In 1892, the family moved to Abilene, Kansas where he spent most of his life. He met Mamie Doud while stationed in Texas and proposed to her Valentines Day, 1916. His mother was a self-made historian and had an extensive library of history books Eisenhower read which led to his interest in the military. His mother wasn’t very supportive of that. She was a Mennonite and later Jehovah’s Witness who hated war and was very disappointed when Eisenhower applied and then was admitted to West Point.

Little has been known of the perils Eisenhower faced while in that theater. He hated being stuck behind a desk and, often flying in terrible weather, flew many times throughout the British Isles, Africa and most of Europe in cantankerous transports and bombers while German aircraft still plied the skies to get real-time reports of battle. Because of this rugged schedule (and his constant struggle with cigarettes) he constantly fought a resilient flu throughout most of the war.

Eisenhower often refers to his loneliness and how much he misses Mamie. At one point he voiced to friends a need for animal companionship. He said he couldn’t speak to people about his mostly secret work but a dog couldn’t repeat anything and it would stave off the loneliness. So his co-workers got together and bought him a Scottish Terrier puppy named,“Scotty.”

Even in the most troubling moments, he notes that Mamie had moved back to their home from Officers Quarters and took the time to remind her to make sure she started their car occasionally to keep the battery up and to make sure she got the oil changed and drove it around to keep things running well. Even while dealing with the Nazi threat they still had to deal with the mundane day-to-day husband and wife stuff that make it marriage. His biggest complaints are the constant meetings, press conferences, political and diplomatic dinners and working lunches with people he really didn’t like being around. He wasn’t a big fan of big egos.

Interspersed in his letters Eisenhower often showed concern over the new world order and how it might effect our Democracy and the future world map after WWII. As you recall, Eisenhower first coined the phrase and his fear of the “military-industrial complex” and how it threatened America and its policies overseas. Eisenhower often voiced admiration for the Russian’s fighting spirit but always spoke cautiously about the future Communist leader’s intentions after the war.

As the successful African landings took place, the stress of his first real test of his plans really mounted. In one letter, he refers to Mamie as his “counter balance” and wished she were there,

“No one else in this world could ever fill your place with me-and that is the reason I need you. Maybe a simpler explanation is merely that I LOVE you!! (His emphasis) which I do, always. Never forget that, because, except for my duty, which I try to perform creditably, it is the only thing to which I can cling with confidence.” Algiers, December 30, 1942.

As the battles went on, moving through Tunisia, there was a stalemate at the Kasserine Pass which caused Eisenhower a lot of angst as his drive to rid North Africa of Germans came to a halt. Rommel had put together a substantial defense and the Allies were stalled and suffering. In the early days, Eisenhower had noted that the suffering and risk had been shared equally by his staff as well as the front line troops. But as time had gone by, he noticed the staff had fallen into a more office routine. Eisenhower was a real proponent of leading from the front and often took time to meet with troops (at great peril) close to the battle to talk and shake their hands. So among his staff and senior officers, he instituted the philosophy: Nobody who is not in a foxhole has a right to complain.

Of course, in wartime, soldiers can stray. He had initially brought over secretaries and staff from the U.S. in England (women Mamie knew personally) but now on the Continent, more women soldiers in the form of the Women’s Army Auxiliary Corp (WAACs) were doing the clerical work. Always concerned for his wife’s feelings, he ended one of his letters:

“Well my love, I’ve had a whole half hour alone. Seems like something must have happened to the place. I love you all the time-don’t go bothering your pretty head about WAACS-etc-etc. You must hold the thought that I’m not so worn out by the time this is all over that you’ll just have a wreck on your hands; because I’m on the run to you the day the victorious army marches into Berlin!” Algiers February 15^th, 1943

From Algiers he reemphasized his love for Mamie:

“It would be difficult to tell you how much I agree with your idea of just getting together after this war is over and never letting anything part us again. Sometimes I get so homesick for you, I don’t know what to do. But I always know this-for me there is only one woman and only one ambition with respect to a woman-that is to come a-running to you and hold on to you firmly-forever." Algiers February 28^th, 1943

Kay Summersby

Much has been made of the alleged affair between Kay Summersby and Eisenhower, mostly of a book she wrote, “Past Forgetting: My Love Affair with Dwight D. Eisenhower” after diagnosed with cancer in 1973. Since then, there has been much evidence that Summersby was not involved in the book but it was “ghost written” after her death, a complete fabrication according to those in the know.

There is mention of Summersby in a few letters, mostly talking about her service as a driver in England and then her engagement to a young US Army officer Lieutenant Colonel Richard "Dick" Arnold who was killed by a land mine during the African Campaign. Eisenhower thought she was an excellent driver asked her to join his staff in Africa and ultimately to become his personal secretary as well. To Mamie he wrote:

“So Life says my old London driver came down! so she did-but the big reasons she wanted to serve in this theatre is that she is terribly in love with a young American Colonel and is to be married to him come  June-assuming both are alive. I doubt that Life told that. But I tell you only so that if anyone is banal and foolish enough to lift an eyebrow at an old duffer such as I am in connection with WAACs-Red Cross workers-nurses and drivers-you will know I’ve no emotional involvements and will have none.” Algiers March 2^nd, 1943

After successes in North Africa and Italy, Eisenhower was tasked with planning and executing the invasion of France (no pressure). By 1944, Eisenhower was interested in the politics of the time in that they had Roosevelt since the beginning of the war and he wondered aloud how he might have a new commander-in-chief to deal with (not initially in that Roosevelt returned for an unprecedented 4^th term that year). He wrote to Mamie:

“Judging from the newspapers the political pot is really boiling at home. Of course the local papers don carry the full story of American politics, but I do see enough to know there are quite a few people that would like to be President. I wonder how many of them really believe they could swing the job.

I wonder how I’ll feel about staying in the Army a while after all this is over. I suspect I’ll want to retire to go our own way-but we can never tell that far ahead. But so long as you are right with me I don’t care much what I do.” London April 24^th , 1944

Even during this pressure cooker period leading up to D-Day, Eisenhower had to respond to an inquiry of Mamie’s about payment of taxes. He wrote her:

“I suppose you’re keeping up the income tax payments. After I came back from the U.S. I paid our residue on 1943-which, as you remember was about $450. But I asked the Captain from Stoner’s office to keep in touch with you to keep up payments during ’44. (Yes Tonia….even the Eisenhowers had to pay the IRS).

Of course, everyone knows the story of the ending of World War II, constant pressure from both the Allies from Europe and those pesky Russians from the east put the nail in the coffin of Hitler and his sometimes reluctant Generals do save the 1000 year Reich on May 8^th, 1945. With Hitler’s death and the end of hostilities, Eisenhower became a witness to Hitlers efforts to eliminate Jews and other cultural groups in the final solution. Eisenhower was clearly moved and appalled by what he saw, mandating that residents of neighboring towns to the various death camps be forced to see the evil and destruction which they blindly ignored for years.

Eisenhower was relieved on November 10^th, 1945 and made it back to his beloved Mamie. After the war, he served as Army Chief of Staff (1945–1948), as president of Columbia University (1948–1953) and as the first Supreme Commander of NATO (1951–1952). Although he promised Mamie he would hang up his spurs and just end his days in Abilene, Kansas with her, in 1952, Eisenhower entered the presidential race as a Republican to block the isolationist foreign policies of Senator Robert A. Taft; Taft opposed NATO and wanted no foreign entanglements. Eisenhower won that election and the 1956 election in landslides, both times defeating Adlai Stevenson II.

This book is not just about history, although it certainly contains many little tidbits which make Eisenhower come to life, it is a testament to an enduring love between two soulmates married for 53 years when Eisenhower passed away on March 28^th, 1969. He was 78. Mamie survived him by ten

years passing away on November 1^st, 1979 at 82.

Life Happens

Ok....I’m not writing this for my friends or anyone else who might see this. I’m sort of venting and memorializing at the same time. As some of you may know, my beautiful wife and partner of 45 years, Dianna, passed away on September 24th, 2018. It was sudden and quite unexpected. She was 62 years old and though she had some medical issues, none would lead anyone to suspect her death was imminent. As her Doctor put it, “If we had put her through a body scan 20 minutes before this happened, we wouldn’t have seen it coming.” A brain aneurysm struck her down and led to her untimely death.

What I need to say is this, I had always been told that Life is short and not to squander the time you have with those you love. Truer words have never been spoken and, like many, I did not heed them until it was too late. I was fortunate in that I did have a chance to say goodbye before the event took her away. I was preparing to leave and take our Grandson to a park on what was to be a typical Saturday outing since our Grandson began to walk (or rather, run). We met in the kitchen and kissed goodbye in anticipation of my return with dinner and a movie that evening.

Thirty minutes later, I received a call from my daughter that her mother was in trouble and I needed to come home. That began a crazy series of events which only spanned two days until I had to decide my wife’s fate. An unreal moment I had never expected to have nor do I recommend anyone having to experience. With everyone looking on and hanging on my every word, I had to reach deep down and ask they discontinue her care. It was made clear to me she was never going to roll off that bed, walk out of there and return to her family. The flat lines of brain activity were glaring back at me with the ventilator and the beeping of her heart monitor the only other sounds beside my cracking voice. Her words just a couple of weeks before sustained me when I made the decision.

Inexplicably, we had discussed this very same thing over the news about another friend who was on life support in similar circumstances. Dianna said she was vehemently opposed to being a vegetable on a machine. She wanted me to end her suffering with the real possibility of her being that way for days, months or years. She had me promise. I did as she asked.

So understand how that affected me. Imagine watching the staff turn off life sustaining machines and resetting alarms screaming at me to turn things back on. It was all I could do to turn my head and leave her behind, my wife, my best friend and mother to our children. I felt, and still do, that I failed her, to protect her, to make things better. After all, that was my job, what I promised her when we wed. I felt very lost and suddenly alone.

She wanted to be cremated not buried under tons of dirt wasting away for some archeologists to find and analyze. She wanted to be part of the Earth she came from. We were never religious but Dianna was very spiritual and recognized she was part of something bigger. She wanted to return to the star dust we came from and would return to. She was an organ donor and was able to provide some hope for others through her donations. She would be comforted in the knowledge that her death meant something other than well wishes, her legacy preserved in others.

In deciding how and when to distribute her cremains (no, ashes are not the appropriate term it turns out), I thought a burial at sea was a good idea and my daughter, Nicole, suggested we do it on her birthday. I felt returning her to her place of birth on her birthday was a perfect idea so we organized some friends and a boat to deliver her home to San Diego, California.

It was a strange but comforting day as we made our way just outside San Diego Bay to send her on her way. The day began as cold and rainy. Southern California had been beset with turbulent weather that winter of 2018 and even as Spring beckoned in the new year, they had just had a layer of snow in late February dropped onto the County somewhat unexpectedly from a Pacific Storm (she would have liked that too).

We made our way to the boat a little dismayed we might not have fair weather for our two hours at sea but as we left the dock, the sky opened up and we were blessed with clear skies, bright sunlight and calm waters all the way into the ocean. Even the crew commented it was the first time they had seen Sun since December. The very next day, the sky closed up and returned to the cold and rain we had the day we arrived. We made our way passed the North Island breakwater and halted about a mile and a half south of the bay with a wonderful view of the city and Point Loma where her Mom, Audrey, is buried in the National Cemetery.

Finally Home

After a brief poem and prayer, we let her go into the ocean (LAT 39 degrees 39.754 N and 117 degrees 12.807 W, put it in Google Maps) she loved so much. When we met, she told me she had always wanted to be an Oceanographer. Her life took a turn after High School and she couldn’t afford to go to college to make that come true. But, on our trips together, she always preferred Aquariums to Museums and water-sports to bus tours. She would sit for hours (inevitably without sufficient sunscreen) at poolside reading or stroking her way around that pool. She loved the water and preferred the balcony of a cruise ship to an inside cabin so she could watch the ocean pass beneath her feet. I wanted her to have that in her afterlife as well.

Some have questioned our decision to cremate and distribute the remains. I realize the more traditional burial of remains is a more comforting thought. Here's my take, considering tidal flow, evaporation and rain, no matter where you go, there she is. It would please her no end to help irrigate a pretty flower or garden.

Returning to the harbor and enjoying a great lunch/memory meeting with our friends, I enlisted Nicole to help me with another secret mission. On almost every date, whenever we had some parent alone time after kids or whenever we could make it back to San Diego, Dianna and I would ride up La Jolla Scenic Drive to the  Mt. Soledad Cross and coolest Veterans Memorial on the planet and just sit and look out to sea. Up the coast was the iconic Scripps Pier she loved so much. I had retained a small amount of Dianna’s cremains and, while Nicole kept watch, I distributed them on the west face overlooking La Jolla Shores and the Pier. She now can sit and watch the world from her favorite vantage point forever.

Returning home was rather anticlimactic and I must say, life has not been the same. Of course, there are still Grandson sitting days, breakfast, lunch, dinner and movies with friends and family but its not the same as before. I find myself regaling her photo with my exploits and observations of people and things I have seen and done that day. But no retort (yeah, it would be weird if she answered).

I might mention, I have several regrets in my life with Dianna, I did not tell her I loved her enough, kissed her enough, hugged her enough, held her hand enough or told her how beautiful she was enough. I hold that as one of my failures in life…my advice, don’t make the same mistake with your loved ones. Make the change now. It’s never to late to start.

Frisco Home

When friends ask me to reflect on those terrible times, I tell them that I have gone through some major changes in the last six months that I never would never have anticipated. Though losing my wife has to be at the top of the list, it caused an avalanche of other life changing events as well.

Before all this, we had been seriously working on down-sizing. We were looking to retire when Dianna retired at 65 so we had put our ginormous 5 bedroom house in Frisco, Texas up for sale that July. After she passed, in the middle of December, I got a cash offer on the home but they stipulated I had to be out by the last day of December.

So the Grandson’s birthday and Christmas flew by without notice as Nicole and I scurried around looking for a replacement home for me. I found one in a new development just northwest of Frisco at the right price and willing to close by the end of December as I closed on my Frisco house. That led to another flurry of activity as I had to pack, store and move the contents of our home and set up the new place. I look back at that time and still don’t know how I was able to get it all done. I can only assume I had Devine intervention from somewhere (or someone). So many critical decisions, both financial and physical, made on the fly....I can only hope they ultimately prove to be good ones.

Life for the last six months has proven to be a series of highs and lows. I am now alone in my daily activities. Now, I know some of you out there may be alone by choice or circumstances and I'm not attempting to make light of that but being alone is not for me. I find myself alone in a crowd. I am a Class A people watcher and without a foil to make fun of some of the people I see, it really loses its impact.

Aubrey House

I have spent an inordinate amount of time tweaking and making subtle but substantive changes to my new house (I am told the devil finds work for idle hands to do). I spend time walking and talking to our two dogs, Marley and Jenna, and they too seem to be more attentive to me as well. I think my relationship with my house is not as it should be. After all, it was supposed to be Dianna’s house.

In our 45 years together, she had never lived in a brand new house and I wanted that for her. Thus, everything I do now, reflects what I believe she would have wanted done to make her home a nest. Yes, I enjoy the changes but, unlike every other new home owner, I haven’t come to terms with that new house smell and feel that one gets when you get handed the keys, enter, then close the door behind you. It’s not the same if you have no one to share it with.

The other constant you learn about when you’ve become recently widowed, is being single. I don’t mean in the romantic way but no longer being part of a couple. You learn quickly that the world is made for couples. It can be subtle or outright discriminatory but its always there. When you go to a restaurant, once they realize you’re by yourself, you get relegated to the counter seats or banished to the rear tables by the kitchen. After all, we are a pair-bonding species...I get that. Whether in advertising (“Hey little lady, you could be getting a massage while your husband is in the Casino gambling”) or even pricing for a cruise (there are only Double Occupancy rates, single people pay double if they go alone) single people are put on the back burner. Don’t get me started on the suggestion I check out the Seniors Only dating websites. Waaayyyy too soon for that.

Sleeping has become a problem as well. I have slept with an adult person just about every night for 45 years. Again, I’m not talking about the romantic stuff, I mean just having a reassuring presence there next to you. It provides a sense of not being alone. And conversation…. I have always come home to somebody since I was born. I lived with my parents until I met Dianna and lived with her almost two years before marrying her and for the next 43 years, I could say, “Hey, I’m home!” and someone would respond. Strangely, I tried this with Alexa who belted out three different welcoming responses (that is a sad commentary on life we face today, reassurance by a computer), who knew someone developed a “skill” for that. The dogs are still there, but other than their unflagging devotion, they haven’t mastered speech yet (and I’m not sure I’m ready for that either).

To show you how out of practice I am, (“touch” maybe a better term), the other day, I was waiting to enter a movie theatre when a mature woman (pretty sure she was single...no ring) walked up and asked me my opinion of a “Captain Marvel” (strong female role, not the original male character) T-shirt she was thinking about buying. I thought it was over-priced but nice. She asked what movie I was seeing, I told her (Wonder Park) and she thought that was a good movie too. Normally, I might have engaged her in the intricacies of my decision making for movie selection (basically anything I haven’t seen before, including remakes), but this time I just stopped talking. After an awkward silence, she just wandered off. On reflection, I’m not sure if she was hitting on me or just being nice to an old guy with a large popcorn and Coke (I could see her making that assumption....I was wearing one of my “Old Guys Rule” T-shirts). This is the state of affairs I find myself in. There is clearly no quick fix for this.

So I find myself trying to re-integrate myself into society. Dianna was famous for telling me, in bad times, to find my “happy place”….I’m just not sure where to look for it without her guidance. I have been told Baby Steps are the best approach, I have to think “Long Game” (why do people always make Sports references to serious personal issues?). After all, this could be me for a very long time. Let’s see what happens, shall we?