Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Everybody's got their sh*t



No....not me, digital model
It has become apparent in these “Covid” times that people are under great stress.  Now, I certainly do not wish to diminish or make light of the current world situation.  But I do have to point out some incongruities (hey…  somebody’s got to do it).  As I like to point out, everybody’s got their sh*t (I even had a tee shirt made).  But it’s times like these where it really starts to show.

These times can bring out the best or worst in people.  I’ve discovered both.  The current crisis has provided us with numerous opportunities to view other people’s stuff online.  I’m talking about well-meaning people who have decided that publishing their latest crazy video on YouTube, Instagram or Facebook is the way to go for all to see; sometimes well-received but sometimes ill-advised.  It is clear to me that people have waaaayyyy too much time on their hands.  Now, I understand, we are prisoners of our homes and really can’t get out much.  And once cabin fever sets in all bets are off.  With screaming kids, home schooling, disinfecting everything that moves and a partner you’re living with (that person your mother warned you about) who has turned out not to be the same person you first met or married.  This can be seen in a very humorous but poignant YouTube video “Woman in the Closet”

I’ve seen it in action.  I’ve attended a grocery store not too long ago where anxieties were high and there was the smell of paper products in the air.  We had all dutifully lined up for senior shopping time and when the doors opened (this was before strict separation was in place) a flurry of humanity, I would like to say trotted, but actually ran, toward the paper products aisle.  I was not in need of paper products but I tagged along to watch the insanity.  There I watched grown people zigging and zagging their way like wide receivers on the football field to get to their precious paper product. What’s up with that anyway; did people really think we would never see toilet paper again? Most took it in stride but there was at least one person who “lost their sh*t.” Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and a very nice store worker reached back into their cart and personally handed them their precious toilet paper.  Crisis averted.  It’s kind of like survival of the fittest yet more like a civilized “Lord of the Flies” scenario.

I will confess I have cheated death on several occasions during my state’s “lock down” orders.  Thus far, I have made flights to California and driven to other than retail stores.  During those forays I have seen people in various states of compliance from wearing masks, not wearing masks, wearing gloves, not wearing gloves and even the occasional grocery bag over their heads (true story).  I have enjoyed hearing experts tell all that wearing masks was first not necessary, then recommended and then mandatory, while not telling us where we could access or purchase said masks.  Once this was recognized, it was suggested that everything from pillowcases to bandannas were authorized.  Once government gets going, it’s hard to stop making rules that suit their agendas. Diane and I did our civic duty and volunteered at  The Rock Church in San Diego (three hours, I have the finger blister to prove it) to help assemble N95 style masks for the County of San Diego’s Office of Emergency Services. We dutifully tied rubber bands together to be attached to the blank face masks.  Very rewarding stuff.

Don’t get me started on all the stimulus talk. I need to point out that the once derided monthly check put forth by Presidential candidate, Californian Andrew Yang, was one of the first suggestions for the stimulus.  The stimulus ended up to be a nonstarter not to mention the poorly implemented small business stimulus.  Let’s face it: it’s an election year and people in power love to give free money to enhance their positions in an election year.

Old stuff
Shiny new stuff
On a personal note, I do need to point out one other thing.  In my travels to California, I’ve been tasked to fix items to repair my lovely fiancĂ©es’ condo so she can lease and/or sell it in the State of Taxation (California) she lives in.  I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that whenever you take apart anyone’s plumbing it never stays simple.  As soon as you turn the first wrench, there is a cascading effect (sometimes water) that occurs where you end up replacing everything to make it work.  What started out as a simple change of bathroom faucets, turned into a battle of wits with aging copper parts.  After an entire afternoon of jousting, I came out victorious with no leaks the first time.  Amazing....sorry, I digress.

Now, I’m not much of a sports guy but I recognize the importance of sports in today’s society.  You can tell that importance when you tune in to ESPN and wonder how entertaining it is to watch Super Bowl 2009 in its entirety like you already didn’t know the outcome.  Let’s not forget all of the outdoor activities that have been put on hold.  Outdoor concerts, parades, chili cook offs and even evening strolls along our beaches have been taken from us.  This has provided many of us with a “bunker mentality” that has driven most of us to relieve ourselves of this “stay at home” situation.  And thus, we are now seeing people protesting (clearly violating physical distancing mandates and frankly scaring the hell out of government officials) and asking to open up their states to get back to “normal” or perhaps the “New Normal” that will be our future.

The other thing is the change we are seeing in the marketplace.  Since this thing got started, it’s become the business owner’s mission to up their game and comfort us with the knowledge that they are sanitizing everything for our safety.  I mean, I’m watching a commercial for a plumber where he is spraying down and sanitizing his entire truck.  How is sanitizing his truck going to make my life better?  Another thing we’ve seen is a newfound embrace of technology (that’s been around for years) providing contact-less consultations, meetings, home visits and purchasing apps never before seen. (Where were you guys before this?) The same has happened in schools, grocery stores and (for goodness sake) hospitals and medical centers. It seems everyone on the planet has suddenly discovered soap and water as an avenue to good health.  Who knew?


Daily, we hear about things and activities that are being taken from us.  It seems like a never-ending list of disappointments.  Some not so disappointing like when I heard today that, due to commercial pressures, Chip and Joanna Gaines were having to delay their latest addition to their Magnolia Empire, the “Magnolia Network” they were about to start.  Oh no, what will we do without more Chip and Joanna? AND the Scripps National Spelling Bee. There is no justice! I mean, we already have the plague, now I’m looking out the window looking for the locusts. How will we manage?

Fox 4s Evan Andrews and dog Penny
I wanted to point out another thing about all of these “at home” celebrities, newscasters and others.  It gives one a unique opportunity to see into the lives of the people you may see every day looking all official and dressed to the nines.  I challenge you, the next time you watch your favorite newscasters or celebrities, look beyond the made-up faces to what’s going on behind them.  Check their bookcases and collections of art, photographs and most of all their pets.  That vaunted newscaster and their “fair and balanced” style is shattered when you realize that they are secretly that scary “cat woman” everybody makes fun of on YouTube.  And let’s not forget the “One World: Together at Home” concert.  I did enjoy the music and saw many famous acts but Charlie Puth needs to make his bed and put his clothes away before going on worldwide television.  Seriously, his mom must be beside herself when she saw that.

Charlies bedroom studio